Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
