I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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