thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
