I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
