when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
