you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
