I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize