I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
