I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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