His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
