Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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