There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
