your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
