this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
