I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
