Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
