we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
then he tried to convert me to islam
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
