I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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