Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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