It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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