Can i not drive my cunt home
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
so much tequila, so little girl.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
