his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize