....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
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