Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
