So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
