I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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