I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
