I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
