Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
