Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She's the barista slut.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
How does one acquire holy water?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
