It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
