when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
