he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
