I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
