Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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