TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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