she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
how drunk are you?
Several
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
