would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
this hospital has no fireball
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