Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I made him laugh his dick is mine
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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