You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
