It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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