Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
