How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
