she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
