My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
