You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
