I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
