yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
