I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Randomize
