For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
