I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
