Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
His nipple licking is glorious
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