Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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