3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
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