Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize