this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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