Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
