Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
