We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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