She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
