He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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