Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
