i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize