Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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