are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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