so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
